Newbie

EmSpem · Newbie

Hi Folks - Couldnt find a newbie/intros type thread - may be I've missed it and if so sorry so thought I'd start my own 'Hello' to you guys.

I met some of you at the Teesside Autodrome 24-hr race - I was on the Ladies Centry FM Team (if you can call 3 a team!)

Well done guys for doing as well as you did - it was a real toughie. I'm trying to put a girlies team together for next year but am struggling - am only up to 5 so far - I want a minimum of 6 as it's really impossible to do with less than that - well obviously it's not impossible since we did it with 3 but the guys who did it will know what I mean!

Anyway I sought you guys out after reading the lil article that was in the local paper as it mentioned you were doing an iron man in Oct and I wondered if the girls could tag along - anyway now I've seen it is on 12th I can't do it as I'm at the AGM of the car club which I help run (Clubcento) so even if I was welcome I will be in the Lakes!

Anyway I'm waffling on now somewhat - which is what we women tend to do aint it - so there we are an intro and a hello from me.

Tried to check out the website but I understand from the thread you are having problems - hope you get them sorted soon - I know the feeling when something like that goes tits up for a club!

club sec

Welcome, you have probably figured out we are a small but very enthusiastic bunch of characters all focused by motorsport.

You are welcome to join in the karting on November 23rd and we are looking to enter 2/3 teams in next years 24 hours.

Any questions just ask, in the mean time have a look through the threads and please feel free to abuse Gav as much as you want.

slippy

The more ladies the merrier in my opinion welcome

Watch out for Gav Taylor he's the resident smoothy and will probably try and have his way with you

Gav Taylor

Welcome to the forum EmSpem

nice to see some females involved in motorsport!

what sort of stuff are you into?

slippy

Gav Taylor

just having a laugh man, its friday after all.

slippy the forum bouncer!

slippy

Chivalry isn't dead in my house son

Gav Taylor

not what the bread knife told me big lad

slippy

Woh woh there Taylor lad steady on son else you'll be getting a cuffing

Gav Taylor

***rattled***

slippy

You will be son

Gav Taylor

club sec

Well done lads, you appear to have scared her off with those comments! Emspem please come back.

Gav Taylor

its only been 6 hours since she joined man, chill oot!

joe_the_waiter

Hi EmSpem.. Nice of you to join us here. Are you the girl who was enjoying yourself so much you stayed out for two hours and would of been more if it wasnt for the black flag to get your attention? We were very impressed with your teams performance as a team of only three. To those on here who weren't there.... They had a team of six, but three didnt turn up basically. So the remaining three did one and a half hour stints for the duration. Now thats extremely good going for anyone. Despite the fact they hadnt done this before (i dont think), and the endurance nature of their race... they weren't slow, they finished 37th of 49 and posted a respectable best time of 53.5.
As for next years race, if you already have five team members.... dont worry, you have a year to go.... you wont have any problems. I'm sure you'll be running under your own banner but feel free to ask if you require any help.

Gav Taylor

hopefully a 4 team SDMC turn out

SDMC A

SDMC B

SmogSport

EmSpem

awesome!!!

steaallan

welcome to the forum emspem from the 24hr team manager i spoke to you over the weekend and well done on your efforts a very immpessive effort through the event and it will be great to see you at another event soon. And keep posting on the forum

Gav Taylor

he's alive!!!!

EmSpem

Ooo what a cool welcome!!! I shall try to respond to all posts so bear with me - this is a long un!

Thanks ‘club sec’ for the invite for karting on 23rd Nov - that would be cool - I’ll let my team mates know and we’ll see if we can all come along and join in if there’s room for us - need to keep the practice in.

I don’t readily dish out abuse but if it’s deserved then it would be rude not to!

Gav Taylor

joe_the_waiter

Oh Gavin ..... your smooth talking is undermined by your very unsophisticated picture. like a Merlot being sold in a can... (only its not really a merlot.... but a lambrini copy)

Gav Taylor

I combine the best of both worlds old boy

club sec

Note< no avatar from JTW.

Gav Taylor

this could well be worthy of its own thread....

"suggestions for Joe the Waiters avatar"

Gav Taylor

I'll start then...

joe_the_waiter

well... i might be able to create websites, qualified at computer aided design and a dab hand at image manipulation...... but i have no idea how to have an avatar...

EmSpem

joe_the_waiter

Yes EmSpem .... it is wrong... but was an analogy of Gav's smoothie patter matched with his packaging (i.e. his online pic... looking like a lager lout)..... the two dont go if you know what i mean.

What is this Clubcento car club you mentioned? ive not heard of it.

Gav Taylor

Not heard of google like ya lazy get

http://www.clubcento.co.uk/

steaallan

they are probably a bit to fast for davie lad

Gav Taylor

joe_the_waiter

oh dear......... Gav thinks he's James Bond now......well..... what can i say..

joe_the_waiter

Just looked at the clubcento website....... cant believe ive not come across this club before..... Does this mean EmSpem drives a little poxy Fiat?? ha ha...

Gav Taylor

ohhh harsh on the newbie like slating her ride already son!

and coming from the guy who drives to work and does his shopping in a 4x4 with 7 aerials on the roof and STOCK1 plastered over the windscreen

joe_the_waiter

it went straight over your head Gavin.......

never mind

Gav Taylor

eh there's nowt wrong with cinquecento's my grandma used to drive one.

joe_the_waiter

you just havent clicked the significance have you?

joe_the_waiter

how about if she said she cut up old tyres in her spare time???

steaallan

if that was the case you would lose a fair bit of weight around your waist

Gav Taylor

joe_the_waiter

never mind gav.... im sure many others will of seen the significance of what i said

Gav Taylor

before my time mate

joe_the_waiter

i might have got the tyre bit wrong..... but i thought u had a connection with cut up tyres

Gav Taylor

yes mate, were the UKs biggest collector of waste tyres!

Its brings a tear to your eye seeing brand new pirellis and michelins coming in slashed just because they cant be stored any longer in their warehouses even though are perfectly good to use. (thats why you see tyres with full tread on them but slashed used as crash barriers at circuits)

Also get a lot of developmental rally and race tyres coming in to get shredded and we need to send them a legal document saying the time and date they were witnessed going through our shredder.

joe_the_waiter

while im in a cryptic mood......

Gav... looks like you have been a bit a bit slow lately.... like a rabbit in the headlights...... suddenly.. my life has got a step brighter...... there is a hid den message in there..................

Gav Taylor

do you mean have I got a new bird?

yes

joe_the_waiter

Gav man.... you really arent on form tonight are you?? read again..... the clues are there.....

Sorry for hijacking your post EmSpem

Gav Taylor

dont know mate, excuse my ignorance maybe some sort of rabbit connotation?

You havent been smoking gear tonight have you by any chance?

joe_the_waiter

just look at the hid den message. have a shot bin the dark...... think intensively.... that should shed some light on this poser....

(dear me.... cant give any more clues)

Gav Taylor

nah sorry mate lost me......

Gav Taylor

its not something to do with getiing a HID kit for Stock 1 is it bro?

club sec

Why? As the saying goes, "you can't polish a turd".

Gav Taylor

you can see it better though!

EmSpem

club sec

JTW is well acquainted with Italian rustbuc.....er cars

joe_the_waiter

Hi EmSpem..... poxy Fiat was a joke to get a response from everyone else..... Fiats and Alfas are my job. im a Fiat dealer expert technician and Alfa Romeo master engineer..... so i dont really think theyre poxy.

the other cryptic thing was relative to me and Gav.... not for everyone else... but could of been understood by others with some thinking.

so.... go on... what fiats and alfas do u own?

Gav Taylor

slippy

What the fudge have you gimps been smoking

Gav Taylor

mate f**k knows!

dave must have been high as a kite last night like

EmSpem

slippy

I've had a couple of Cinqey Sportings, both shapes, back in the day and they are a hoot and I bought wor lass an Alfa GTV

joe_the_waiter

panda m/jet is good car. Which Spider have you got? (what year?).. i think the current spider is one of the nicest looking cars out there (esp with the top down). Got a GTV cup in workshop at moment.... (limited edition no.10)... didnt use to like them.. but they grow on you. As i'm doing Alfas now... i wont get to try the 500 Abarth (drove loads of 500's tho... )... but.... i guess driving things like the Prodrive Brera etc aint that bad.

only thing i hate about cinquecento's is......... doing clutch cables !!!!!!

Gav Taylor

club sec

Fix
It
Again
Tomorrow

EmSpem

joe_the_waiter

funny thing about the clutch cables is..... its not the cable that snaps... its the metal bit on the end of the cable which being thicker and solid... should be the strongest bit.

not sure where u get your garage work done.... but maybe ive worked on your car

Gav Taylor

club sec

EmSpem

club sec

Grease monkey is about right.............without so much of the grease

Gav Taylor

JTW's getting a hammering on here like....great stuff

club sec

I thought you were going to jump in with a reference to empsem being able to handle tools!

joe_the_waiter

what you mean "great stuff" Gav .....?? friends like you.. i dont need enemies... Grease monkey??? GREASE MONKEY ??? well i know i look odd and walk funny.... but i think thats harsh.

Gav Taylor

slippy

club sec

Who are you calling a thick tool?

Gav Taylor

EmSpem

You guys - very silly

Sorry JTW - I've had very bad experiences with garages when I first bought the car and had no clue about how it worked. Was ripped off and lied to on numerous occasions and even when I did know what was wrong and told them they'd think I was mental eg Wentane S'ton - went along for them to look at car as it was overheating (amongst other things) - I told them thought head gasket had gone - the answer I got was "Well when cars run love they get hot you know" - Patronising d**k - so guess what - I took the car elsewhere (a mate) and headgasket had gone and they lost out on my money for being total pr**ks.

Another garage I took the car to for its first MOT - I'd fitted brake pads (under watchful eye of qualified friend as I'd never done anything like that before) only 3 weeks earlier and was told that my car had failed MOT on..... brake pads - as they were down to nothing don't you know, and that's quite dangeous love - Really - is it - told them where to go and said I was picking car up straight away - got there and they'd left it parked up on road outside garage with keys in the ignition

If I'd have known the keys were in the ignition I'd have driven the bloomin thing off without paying for MOT but since I had to go in and ask for keys first they stung me for test fee.

There's been a few other bits and bats but really from then on the only time my car visits a garage is when I can't do the work myself ie brakelines, tyre fitting etc anything else, gearbox change, clutch change, services etc I do it myself with help from a mate.

The main problem is is that garages think because I'm a girl I won't know that they're just about to rape my purse they'll think that I'll think they're doing me a favour - Awe NOT <rant mode off>

Gav Taylor

you do like you're rants mate dont you!

slippy

She's a fiesty one Gav and you know what that means

Gav Taylor

Cha ching!! untamed and wild..awesome!!

Just done some quick sums and your average post Emspem is 165 words long... now I knew women liked to talk alot but didnt think the trait carried over to forums as well?

joe_the_waiter

well... i can understand why you dont like garages. I once worked for Wentane (no, it wasnt me who said that) and i am surprised you got that reaction. The service manager is very good with customers and would normally get one of the technicians to look at the car before making any judgements. I know you wont believe me... but they really are a trustworthy garage.
if you wouldnt do a brake pipe change... then im surprised you would take on a clutch or gearbox change... makes brake pipes seem a walk in the park.

anyway, if you ever need advice or info, just ask. As im not interested in doing the work on your car... i wont be trying to rob you.

slippy

He just want's to get his hands on your box

fnar fnar

Gav Taylor

smut...gotta love it!

Gav Taylor

Thought I would add this for the non graduates on here...

EmSpem

Gav Taylor

EmSpem

club sec

You've not seen the state of his Vectra then

Gav Taylor

club sec

Sounds like the kind of BS he comes out with.

EmSpem

Rofl - don't need to smoke illegal substances - I'm just a nut all by myself - ne help needed in that dept.!

So you have a shoddy and dangerous Vectra then <snigger>

club sec

Oh, you have seen it then, it is very shoddy, but then aren't they all.

Gav Taylor

at 10 years old she is starting to look a bit worn like.

paid a grand for for a couple of years back and bar a dis pack shes not let me down so cant really complain when I'm sat doing 145 with the V6 humming away

slippy

joe_the_waiter

club sec

Or perhaps she has a life?

Gav, 145 what, KM/H?

Gav Taylor

most probably has a life unlike me!

145 in mph you can keep your eurpean KPH shite.

good day to you young man.

club sec

Minus at least 10% gives a more realistic figure

Gav Taylor

settle for a ton 30 for a car that cost me a grand

Emspem when what the most you've had out of the cinquentioenty