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Stockton & District Motor Club
The forum of Stockton & District Motor Club
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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 Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
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EXCELLENT - - - - - - - BEST SO FAR !
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
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Gav Taylor
Loved the World over.
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 1788
Location: United Estates of Aycliffe
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:27 am Post subject: |
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old but gold 
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject: call centre |
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i agree gav just sorry it took virtually a full page to post it on
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empire killer |
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Gav Taylor
Loved the World over.
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 1788
Location: United Estates of Aycliffe
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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no need apologise, a good read
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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Gav Taylor
Loved the World over.
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 1788
Location: United Estates of Aycliffe
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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going through the archives now arent we Ste I got that when i was in uni man!
All my "commands" were met with a resounding finger wag, I must bring my sexual habits more mainstream 
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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Gav Taylor
Loved the World over.
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 1788
Location: United Estates of Aycliffe
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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bet some of those were painful. the one where he just missed the lampost could have been nasty
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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hint is in the title WOMEN
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empire killer |
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club sec
Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 1551
Location: Stockton on Tees
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject: |
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After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish Archaeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed English scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "English Archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."
One week later, "The Kerryman," a southwest Irish newsletter, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 metres in peat bog near Tralee, Paddy O'Dors, a self taught Archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless."
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"Super Furry Animal". |
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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sometime's i think you come from over the water
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empire killer |
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club sec
Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 1551
Location: Stockton on Tees
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| Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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Another case of discrimination.
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"Super Furry Animal". |
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steaallan
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 475
Location: redcar
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| Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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empire killer |
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Michelle
Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Skelton
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: hey everyone is this the joke page? |
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Fireman have rescued a man from a condom machine,
they asked what happened,
He said the sign says, " Insert £2 and put Knob in" |
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club sec
Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 1551
Location: Stockton on Tees
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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_________________
"Super Furry Animal". |
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